so although its the sabbath and here i am posting i have to say i am becoming increasingly more and more enamored with the structure and the rigor of the orthodox. aesthetically it goes both ways. sometimes i can't decide if i love the simplicity or if i just know flat out it wouldn't work for me. i met an interesting man last week that is orthodox and spoke of his 20s as a time when he wasn't very religious. this man wasn't past 35 but the way he spoke of shedding the teenage dream was as if he had been reborn (not in that crazy AA way) when bakshi was still making pornography. i have always flip flopped on this topic. it could be that i was ripped out of a conservative temple because the hours of hebrew school were less desirable than that of the reformed temple and i am really just feeling the pangs of guilt. however, deep down i know i wish i felt more of a connection to my jewish roots. i will never deny that the gypsy goes hard too and that orthodoxy is in my blood, just not my mother's side. the eastern orthodox are a different loaf of bread and its not challah and while i can't knock it, i don't know enough to want to delve further. i just know that when i think about judaism i feel all fluttery and too apt to defend myself. sometimes i just want to dive right in but i know that what would meet me would be so skeptical it might scare me back to the surface.
i don't even think i can insert jim jones anecdote about if i want to skinny dip i should jump right in....so....i jumped right in. blam! i did it anyway. maybe i wouldn't be the best orthodox wife but i would certainly have the most swag.
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| From Liquid-Lunch |
